Who am I?

I know it's been awhile, but here i am. Just signed off and shut down - ready for bed. But something kept stirring inside me. Who am I?
A wasp looks just like a bee. Well almost!
For me it was like they were brothers. Same father! Same Home! And one day dad says: It's time for you boys to learn the family business. He takes them both out into the field, lets build a honeycomb so you will have a place to store you treasures. The bee goes first - he takes his time it's slow going but eventually he gets it. Father pats him on the shoulder and says well done son. Then the wasp jumps up and says watch this dad. He's up and out and in no time he's built his. Father pats him on the shoulder and says well done son.
Now we are gonna learn the family secret, the sweet joy and purpose of our existence. The bee comes up and he takes his time yet again. He throws himself into it completely. So much so that when he is done he is completed exhausted. Wasp jumps up and says why do we have to work so hard, their has got to be an easier way right dad? Dad says no son, the only way to make something truly worth holding on to is to give all of yourself into it. But there is one catch. When you give yourself completely over to something you can not keep it for yourself, if you try you will die. So the wasp flies away angry.

So now they are both faced with a brave question. Create something special but loose the power to hold on to it, or hold on to all your power and create nothing?

Do I choose to be a Wasp or a Bee? Who am I? Is my quest to find power or is it to create joy? Will my father be proud of the choices I've made. Right now confusion abounds!

Lord please have mercy on me! Teach me the way I should walk! Lead me!