FEAR

Just finished watching defending your life. It's a play on the name. A movie about a man who gets hit by a bus and goes to a place where he needs to "defend his life" choices to a panel of judges. His case was to get past his fear. The premise is that fear captivates us. Imprisons us, causes us to shrink and not excel.

The thing is -- The more we shrink, the more afraid we become, and the more afraid we become, the more we shrink.

Last night i was afraid! I'm not sure of what exactly - Maybe everything and anything. But i knew i was afraid. Every sound stirred me, every movement shook me. I guess the thought is what if i came out of my room that night -- just to go to the bathroom, or to get a drink of water, maybe just to check on the files i was working on. Whatever the case i could have -- it's my house - my home. Getting up in the middle of the night would be my prerogative. -RIGHT?

Does someone who decides to come into your house in the middle of the night, while you are there, prepare themselves to deal with you if you get up? What is their plan?


What does defending your life mean, when you are dealing with someone invading your home?
Is it Weapons, Skill sets, trap doors, escape routes, and everything thinkable. Or is it the will to break the cycle of fear.

How do I break the cycle? What force now needs to be introduced to this cycle to move it out of the shrink fear shrink fear spiral and back on to its designated course. Take chances, grow, self improvement, self actualization.

I Keep praying for an answer.